Miss Universe Time!!!

Here are my final thoughts for Miss Universe:
Just missing the cut (Top 20):

Australia- Strangely enough I didn't have her anywhere in my top 20 after watching prelims- however looking back I realized that she may be closer than I think.
Japan - She was incredible on stage, I thought she brought something different and calm.
Jamaica - Let it be known that I am only putting her this close because I felt like she really brought it during prelims, however based on photos alone I would NOT have had her in the semi-finals.
Slovak Republic - I loved her from the beginning! Until she came out on stage in that horrid Gatorade gown. I was so hoping for a Jessica Rabbit look when she came out, but sadly I was disappointed. I wish that she would still make the semi's but she will not go any farther in that, unless she changes her gown.
Canada - Based on height alone she could be in. She takes incredible action photos, but still photos not so much. And sometimes she looks like a tranny.
Top 15:

New Zealand - I really hate looking at photos of this woman, I just don't like the cat eyes big mouth thing. But she did bring some flair to the stage. So I put her in based on stage performance alone.
Argentina - Yesica is my soft spot. I really like her. Her dress is terrible and she seemed nervous on stage. But I just think she is SO CUTE!!! Like little puppy cute.
Czech Republic - I loved this girl during prelims - I thought she brought some energy to that stage. Jitka also brings that young, fresh innocence with her.
South Africa - She is an obvious one. I did feel like she could have brought more to the stage and could have been a little more sassy than she was.
Philippines - I do not understand Venus AT ALL. However, she has a great presence on stage so I will give her that. But I do not think she is facially beautiful enough to crack the five.

Top 10:

France - I want her to break into the top 5, if not win the entire thing, but being realistic, I don't think that is going to happen.
Venezuela - The second country to produce the most AMAZING women. Many did not like Marelisa's smiley smiley image on stage, but I just love her. I think it was said in chat, but it makes me want to be her best friend!
Brazil - I love her. I think Brazil produces some of the most beautiful women in the world, and Debora is no exception.
Ukraine - How can anyone not think she is beautiful? She may be a beast but the judges don't know that yet.
USA - Sash factor. I love Rima and I thought she was great at Miss USA, but as always between then and now, she has lost some of that spark (a la: Chelsie Cooley, Tara Conner)

TOP 5:

4th RU: Guatemala - This girl had SEX written all over her face the ENTIRE time. And I LOVE it.

3rd RU: Mexico - I know there are a lot of haters out there for Mexico, but I think she was incredible and wowed me the ENTIRE time.

2nd RU: Russia - I love this girls innocence and facial beauty, but I think she may lose the game when we have her speak. Not because she is stupid, but because she seems so very young

1st RU: Ireland - As much as I want this girl to win, I just don't think it will actually happen. I mean Rozanna is everything that I WANT in a Miss Universe, she is beautiful, approachable, funny, normal, but I feel like every time they have an incredible winner like her, MUO misses the boat.

WINNER: Puerto Rico - I know I know, the Shakira hair just isn't awesome. But she looks incredible in every photo I have seen her in, and she could wear a burlap sack and still look amazing.

Bubble:
Paraguay - I wanted her to be in my top 20, but after prelims, she fell flat for me.
Albania - I originally wanted her in my Top 20 but as I look back, I'm thinking maybe not.
Peru - Also in my original Top 20, but after looking at photos, I realized that she just may not get in.
Belgium- Facial beauty but that's about it
Costa Rica - Again, did not have her in there, but after looking through photos, she could be a surprise
Croatia - beautiful, but probably won't make the top 20.
Cyprus- also facially beautiful, except straight on.
Dominican Republic - Originally I had her in my Top 20, but looking back on photos, I think I had too much wine.
Greece - Stunning girl, but not making the cut.
Israel - Beautiful girl, but most likely won't make the cut.
Columbia - beautiful, but not enough excitement on stage to make it through.

Stop Drinking Bottled Water Now!

Brian Clark Howard: Stop Drinking Bottled Water Now! (Infographic): "

Bottled water is healthy water -- or so marketers would have us believe. Just look at the bottled water labels or ads: deep, pristine pools of spring water; majestic alpine peaks ... In reality, bottled water is just water; however, that fact isn't stopping people from buying a lot of it.

Here are some solid reasons to kick the bottled water habit from our friends at Term Life Insurance.

"I don't get along with girls"

I hate this excuse. The girls I work with at the treatment center make this excuse all of the time. Here is what I chalk it up to (most of the time):

Most girls in this world (ages 10-29) go through a period of struggling with their self esteem. For some this can result in some pretty devastating circumstances (drugs, sex, rock&roll). For others, it can turn them hard and defensive. Both results create an "I don't get along with girls" attitude.

From what I have seen, once a girl starts to feel confident about herself and appreciative and empathetic for those that struggle with their own self esteem, it is then that a girl can then be "get along" with other girls. Sometimes this may take several years and be into their 30's by the time this confidence and security sets in. Sometimes it never does.

I don't think that in order to have a successful or happy life, girls have to get along with other girls. I have just found in my own life, I feel happier when I am not in conflict with someone else. And to be in conflict with an entire gender would make me miserable.

Currently I am in conflict with someone. Not anyone that I am particularly close to, or even know well at all. However, it has consumed me for the past few days. I said something about this person that was rude (I called her a BEOTCH. Not a bitch. A BEOTCH. In my land, there is a very distinct difference). It was a general statement, based on my limited interaction with her. Now, in no way did I mean this as an attack, it was a simple statement. However, I understand that this was rude and could be seen as an attack on her personal character.

For those of you that know me well, know that I have a mouth, a bad one. And I tend to go off and say silly things sometimes, mostly sarcastic comments. This situation was one of those. Although, I do think that this particular girl is kind of snotty, probably because she has stated that she is not "friends with girls," that's not why I don't like her, but as stated above, girls that have this attitude usually come off defensive and sometimes snotty (which is a defense mechanism that relates to low self esteem or lack of self confidence). I don't really NOT like her, I just have not had any positive experiences with her. Which in my world means that she is a BEOTCH.

We all live in our own little worlds. I think we all need to remember, at times, that we are guests in everyone's world.

So welcome to my world. I have lots of opinions. Although they may be incorrect, they are mine. And opinions make us who we are. As well as our actions, and I would say that my actions are genuine and kind.

Don't worry about it

Alright people - I'm not a freak and I'm fine. Thanks for caring.
Sometimes I just need to write down what I am feeling and get it out and express it.
As some of you may not know, I was recently let go from my job at the ECT clinic. I am so distraught and whenever I think about it, I cry. I miss my family there. Over the past three years, I have become very close to not only the staff but also the patients. Depression is such a terrible disease and in such a small clinic one becomes VERY close to the patients that we see. Some are regulars, they come in every 2-5 weeks. I've seen so many people go through the clinic and I have seen their lives change. I believe in everything that the ECT clinic does, and every staff that works there. And I miss my family there.
I feel such a huge loss and I do feel a huge piece of my heart is missing. I feel empty. It was more than just a job for me. I believed in my work and I believed in helping people.

I know that I can continue helping others and move on with my life. I am excited about the new position I will be working at the adolescent treatment center. I am excited that I will be able to use a lot of my skills that I have learned over the years. And I am glad that I am still able to make an impact on other people's lives.

Goodbye to my ECT family - hopefully I can come back someday.

I should write more

I was inspired today to actually write more on this blog. Not to make money (haha) but to feel a sense of purpose. Sometimes when I get really depressed, I lose my sense of purpose and I feel like I don't have purpose anymore and that there may not be any reason to continue. I'm glad that I am not the only person that feels this. After reading this I felt purpose again. I'm not sure what the purpose is, but it's something.
Currently, I'm at a fork in the road. Where do I go from here? This was not in my 5 year plan. I'm glad that I am not the only one who's 5 year plan was destroyed. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is sad a lot. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is afraid sometimes of what the future has and if I actually made the right decision.
So, for those of you that read this blog (although I know very few do), thank you for reading and hearing and listening.
I'm going to write more about what is real. My anger is expressed mostly, but there is more in there, I promise. I hurt too. I get really sad too. And sometimes, I don't want to live anymore. So for today I have purpose. Thanks.

A Terrific Gay Wedding Announcement

A Terrific Gay Wedding Announcement: "

I love an engaged lesbian couple with a sense of humor:

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.... it's not as funny if a straight couple does it.
I guess if I ever get a divorce - I could also destroy the sanctity of marriage and have a party!

Weird stalker post below......

Can I just say how much I LOVE Heather Armstrong (www.dooce.com). She pretty much says EVERYTHING that I am thinking (give or take a few of her WAY liberal comments). And she is such a better writer than me. I think I should just copy everything that she says, but I think she copyright's all of her stuff so then that wouldn't work out.


Today I was at work and I wanted to punch a co-worker in the face (not unusual). My anger toward this woman was not completely out of control (me being unable to breath) but I was still so bothered by her actions and I didn't know why. Finally, I left the situation and had to reflect silently on my rage towards this person. I figured it out, she was stepping into my turf. Not that I really have turf, but I can get pretty possessive and protective when it comes to my patients. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY PATIENTS. Wow, that felt good.

Anyway, what are you possessive over? And do you sometimes find yourself wanting to punch people in the face for some obscure reason?

WTF?

Are you kidding me??? She wore JEANS on Jay Leno??!!!!!
I'm all for her image of the "down-home" girl from Alaska that kills animals and hides the pregnancy of her knocked up daughter. But JEANS???? REALLY???
I pray for our future people, I pray.....

Today

Met up with an old friend today. It's quite strange how people change but they don't at the same time. Heard gossip about some old friends from High School. Again, interesting how you think people change but they really don't. I think I have changed but I'm told I'm the same.
I remember myself being much more cynical and depressed when I was in high school. I also think I was more arrogant and oblivious than I am now.

I like to think that I have changed into a better person. Isn't that what everyone strives for, to be different than we were, gain more knowledge and experience, become better people as we grow older?

I wonder what other people's perspective of me would be. Am I crazy? Am I a bitch? Am I the nicest human being on the planet(hahahahahahahaha, highly unlikely)?

A part of me wants to care what others think about me, but I just don't. I want to be happy in my life and I feel like worrying about what others think of me or how they perceive me to be will only disparage my own sense of self. I will take feedback and am willing to reflect on myself, however I refuse to spend my entire life trying to please other people and being worried that I am going to offend someone. Right? I mean, isn't that how everyone should live? ENJOYING life instead of being stressed out about it all the time?

I don't know, I guess that it works for me and it makes sense for me. Don't worry about what others think, what's important is what you think.

The Next Anti-Choice Target: Miscarriage [Roe Vs. World]

WHAT?????!!!!!! How can the Utah Legislature think for ONE second that my uterus is ANY of their business. Next they are going to be kicking women out of the state that are unable to conceive and populate the world. You better watch your back my dear friends, because you just might be next!!!!!







The Next Anti-Choice Target: Miscarriage [Roe Vs. World]: "

A new Utah law could charge women with homicide if they miscarry, making women's rights advocates concerned that women will be brought up on murder charges for drinking, failing to wear a seatbelt, or falling down the stairs.

The bill passed Utah's state legislature last Thursday and still needs final approval by the governor, but it continues to gain attention this week for its unusually restrictive language. It doesn't address legal abortion, but allows punishment up to life in prison for an 'intentional, knowing, or reckless act' that leads to a miscarriage or abortion without a doctor's supervision. Especially concerning to some Utah Democrats and many women's rights activists is the word "reckless" — writing for RH Reality Check, Rachel Larris says,

Using the legal standard of 'reckless behavior' all a district attorney needs to show is that a woman behaved in a manner that is thought to cause miscarriage, even if she didn't intend to lose the pregnancy. Drink too much alcohol and have a miscarriage? Under the new law such actions could be cause for prosecution.

Women might also make themselves open to prosecution if they failed to wear a seatbelt and got in a car accident, if they stayed with an abusive partner, or even if they fell down the stairs, like a woman in Iowa who found herself jailed on suspicion of "attempted feticide." This woman eventually got off only because she wasn't yet in her third trimester — but unlike Iowa's feticide law, Utah's new bill would apply throughout pregnancy. Given that 15-20% of recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, 80% of those in the first trimester, Utah could have a lot of work ahead. Dan Savage writes,

If every miscarriage is a potential homicide, how does Utah avoid launching a criminal investigation every time a woman has a miscarriage? [...] And how is Utah supposed to know when a pregnant woman has had a miscarriage? You're going to have to create some sort of pregnancy registry to keep track of all those fetuses, Utah. Perhaps you could start issuing 'conception certificates' to women who get pregnant? And then, if there isn't a baby within nine months of the issuance of a conception certificate, the woman could be hauled in for questioning and she could be indicted for criminal homicide if it's determined that she intentionally or accidentally induced a miscarriage.

Of course, Utah probably isn't going to create such a registry, but its new legislation is striking for the way it targets women themselves, as opposed to abortion providers. Lynn Paltrow, executive director of National Advocates for Pregnant Women, says, 'For all these years the anti-choice movement has said ‘we want to outlaw abortion, not put women in jail, but what this law says is ‘no, we really want to put women in jail.'' And Jill of Feministe asks why, if anti-choice advocates are so concerned about miscarried fetuses, they aren't 'trying to find a cure for the close to 50 percent of fertilized eggs that naturally don't implant, and are flushed out of the woman's body.' Her answer: 'the concern here isn't really about fetuses or life or any of that. It's about punishing women.'

Utah Bill Would Criminalize Miscarriage [Feministe]

Utah Bill Criminalizes Miscarriage [RH Reality Check]

Measure On Illegal Abortions Heads To Governor [Salt Lake Tribune]

When Miscarriages Are a Crime... [Slog]

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