Thursday, April 7, 2011

I am not an optimist

Most of you are probably thinking -"Yeah, no shit."
I have been a working realist for many years. I'm not sure when this attitude came upon me or if it has just been with me my entire life. I feel like I have tried to look at the bright side of things in most situations, but I seem to have lost my tact in that area.

But when I see a sinking ship - I'm going to call it a sinking ship.

I don't have a lot of trust or hope in other people. Some of you would be surprised to know this, seeing that I do work in the mental health field. I came to the conclusion long ago that people are going to make their own decisions NO MATTER WHAT. The only thing I can do is give them information and/or skills to make those decisions. Most of the kids that I have worked with over the past 6 years are not what I would describe as, "doing well." There are a few here and there that seem to have gotten there heads on straight, but majority still struggles everyday.

So why do I do what I do? The truth is, I don't know. I guess somewhere inside of me I hope that I make a difference. I hope that one day someone, somewhere is thinking about something I told them and make a good decision.

I read, Always Looking Up by Michael J Fox. I don't read a lot of books ever (something I've been meaning to change about myself). I found this book in an airport after being told by someone that I am obviously not an optimist. (Yeah, no shit.) I took me a few weeks to actually read this book, not that I'm a slow reader or that it was boring, but because I never seem to have the time to read and concentrate to actually read a book. Which is also probably why I have about 3 books I am reading at one time. ANYWAY - this book was really good. It opened my eyes into the world of someone with Parkinson's Disorder and how he has struggled to live a normal life. My respect for this man grew greatly. And it made me reflect upon myself and my realism. Most of the time my realism is helpful to people. Those that live in LALA world need someone like me. However, there are those incidents where people don't need realism, they need a hug from an optimist that will tell them it's going to be okay... even if it won't be.

What will my kid think?

1 comment:

Amy May said...

I could relate to a LOT of this post. I think that a lot of people who work with kids develop this. Especially if you do it for more than five years. It is easy to be optimistic about the first group you work but most people quit after a year or two or don’t stay in the trenches. I have come to love my jaded side. It is quite functional.

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