Dead Fish

It has been a long and short month. I have never had so many short naps in my life. I wake up every 3 hours almost on cue now to check on the babe. Most of the time he is sleeping soundly next to me. I have succumbed to having him sleep in the bed with us. I always said I would never do that, I don't remember my reasons now. But I realize now that he sleeps so much better when he is next to me. And I think I sleep better too.

Things I have learned in the past month:
1. Cleaning up after myself really isn't that hard if I just do it immediately (thanks Rachel) In order to not get the dishes stacked up (especially the pots and pans) just do them right after they are used. It's not as hard as I make it out to be, I'm just lazy.

2. Never say never. Situations and circumstances change and often they change you too. Things I thought I would never do, or care about, I do. Taking pictures everyday of this little thing, not to mention sacrificing my body, time, mind and sleep to make him happy.

3. It really IS different when it is your own kid. I never thought I would care what was in a babies diaper but I do. I have even been keeping a log of it (pee or poo). Lots of poo or just a little poo? Did he fart today? How many times did he burp up food? What his poo yellow and seedy? (Disgusting, I know. But it really IS different when it's your kid).

4. Babies are just like dogs in the sense that they just poop, pee, eat and sleep. BUT the love for a child is totally different. I can't explain how it is different, but it is.

5. Being a mom is hard because you don't have anyone telling you if you're doing it right or wrong. Is there a right way? What should I be doing? Do I play with him? Is he too young for toys? Should I turn the tv off? Is he getting enough food? I can google all of these questions and read all of the websites and books that are out there, but I still don't feel like I have the answers. For once in my life, I don't feel like I have the answers, nor can I research them.

6. Motherly instincts are real. I know what he needs before he even needs it. I wake up before he does, knowing that he is going to want food, or want to be changed. Or he wants you to stand up and walk around with him. Or he is cold. I don't know if these instincts will last for a long time but I hope they last forever. I want to keep that connection with my son.

7. I love my husband more now that he is a father. His interactions with his son, make me love and appreciate him more than I ever imagined I ever could.

8. They really do grow up fast. People continued to tell me that when he was born and I believed them. But I didn't realize how quickly it happens. Although I miss how little he was when I first brought him home from the hospital, I also can't wait for the growing that is to come.

Thank you to all of my friends and family that have helped me out this past month. The food, visits, phone calls and texts mean a lot to me and have helped me recover from my surgery and adjust to being a mother. It is very much appreciated.

Atlas has his own blog now that he will make postings on, so that my blog will go back to being my own. His blog is private, but we will add you if we know you ;)
www.atlas-w.blogspot.com